53 Comments

The combination of information, adroit references and tongue in cheek interludes make your musings a joy to read.

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This was great. Of course it was a Florida Man who was drawn in by their intoxicating primal power and flew too close to the sun...

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It’s the risk you take when striving for Floridian authenticity. As a native, I understand.

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“Pull up your zipper, your Florida is showing”

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The cassowary stomps through the jungle in recreation of lost glory - but really, since everything else has gotten smaller, it's still basically a dinosaur.

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Great article! We should all try to be more like the noble cassowary, and harken back to our nobler ancestors.

On a side note, unless I’m mistaken, you’ve been using “distain” when you should have used “disdain”. The former is a verb meaning to stain or dishonor, whereas the latter is both a noun and verb, and is the word I think you had in mind.

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You’re right. I’ll correct it shortly. It’s autocorrect from my phone.

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I had some extra time, thought to myself, "I'm going to go read that Librarian essay on Antietam and learn some things!" But instead I learned about cassowaries, and laughed more (I assume).

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My new spirit animal

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Don't sleep on the road like a savage, sleep on the sidewalk like a californian.

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Outstanding meditation on tradition through the Cassowary. Beautiful and amusing simultaneously. Thank you!

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I've long suspected that what scientists call dinosaurs are just larger, more archaic versions of animals that exist today. Some were birds, some were reptiles, and a few, perhaps, were mammals. (The fact that they laid eggs is no impediment to this, just look at the duck-billed platypus. ) This line of thinking means that there was never a time when "dinosaurs" went extinct. Their larger, less adaptive kin died off after the catastrophe, or even catastrophes, which were followed by atmospheric changes that destroyed their habitats and finished them off.

This was an excellent essay, as usual. We should all strive to be like the Cassowary.

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It is a comically stern and belligerant looking animal. I've seen em a couple of times (not in the wild).

PS: It's Sheila, not Sheela (that's an Indian name!)

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Thank you, and I fixed it.

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...maybe after Sheila Chisholm:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheila_Chisholm

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It's official for any of my characters to prove their masculinity in any of my stories they must each of them kill a Cassowary. I mean these sound like the real Kings of the Jungle. Er Kangz of the Jungle, didn't meant o be disrespectful or culturally insensitive to the Cretacious critters.

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This is the first time I have seen anyone use the Cassowary as a theme for a Parable, or life lesson. They are far too neglected in literature compared to the more photogenic Kangaroo.

Also, the Australian government has tried to reduce Cassowary deaths from road accidents via the usual awareness campaigns and road signs, but they still don't get much attention from the public, though that being said I am in Brisbane where Cassowaries aren't native so it may be different up north.

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Interesting bird!

But your answer to the Ark question is just a confirmation of the Humanist Faith (which is why I doubt a serious atheist would even ask it).

Dinosaurs weren’t in the Ark because they were simply what the Ancients would have called “monsters”, not mere animals. It’s really just a semantic matter that differentiate the two sorts of beings for us, plus the fact that the Dinosaur idea implicitly reaffirms Humanist History: in the end, they’re exactly the same.

During the Mythical Age, before Noah and his Sons, before the split of Races and Tongues, the world was immersed in magic. Man had almost total dominion of the elements, lifetimes spanned Ages, Angels roamed ostensibly, the Nephillim ran afoul, Monsters wandered the world and reality itself was warped.

The Diluvium ended all this, and opened and Age without magic, stable and plain; of a weaker Man and no magic. It’s obvious Monsters wouldn’t belong in this world anymore.

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Great article! The part about the emus securing the right to drink in Australian taverns was probably my favorite bit.

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Two closing thoughts:

Now I have David Attenborough’s voice ringing through my head. That earworm will remain for the morning I think.

And I have to say it

We spared no expense.

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I've raised various birds: ducks, chickens, peacocks, turkeys... And the turkey remind me of dinosaurs in a way. You may be amused by Joe Hutto's "My Life as a Turkey" (a documentary about him living with turkeys for a year):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENr62-oWyPs

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