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Sean Valdrow's avatar

Years back, I put forward the idea of the Hitler Hut, Fascist Fast Food Fast, a fast food chain borrowing from Axis power motifs. In the Hitler Hut, one could buy Fash Fries and a Blitzkrieg Burger and a litre-sized, er, I mean Austrian-Gefreiter-sized, soda all in a meal-deal for cheap.

My wife said that was a dumb idea and killed it, naysayer that she is.

Looks like some folks in India saw the utility in burning Adolf's brand to make a quick buck.

I AM VINDICATED.

Someone tell my wife.

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Sean Valdrow's avatar

Nope. My idea is most of a decade old. They just had supportive wives, that’s all.

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The Mighty Humanzee's avatar

I don’t think Fascist Fritters has been taken yet. Goering’s Gioza and SS Sushi platter. I’m too lazy to register the domain name so go for it.

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youlian troyanov's avatar

You sir are a genius

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Gregorius, called Aaron's avatar

Yes. This is an excellent idea. Jasenovac Burger Joint - Pavelic’s Own Pommes, The Serb Destroyer Combo, and don't forget the Auschwitz Gift Shop - the Ilse Koch Doll (includes whip), Smokestack Kush: Never forget - to blaze.

Grotesquely commercializing history simultaneously attacks “only good vibes, bro” people by reminding them of the gravity of history in which their “chill” and dank” lives are happening and also misty-eyed pathos addicts who are more afraid of nothing than a reminder that a genuine laugh can - and perhaps should - occur at the expense of anything.

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Gilgamech's avatar

This is a fun essay. It’s cryptic and funny now. In ten years it’s going to be indecipherable, like an Athenian play - “we know what all the words mean, but we have no idea who or what he’s talking about”.

But poor Aristophanes didn’t have hyperlinks.

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William Hunter Duncan's avatar

I'm still wondering why your mudsill theory is controversial. Seems quite evident to me.

As for your sludge theory, I am the only one I know who grows, hunts and fishes for the bulk of my food, regularly walks on uneven ground and reads old books.

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The Brothers Krynn's avatar

You're a freaking hero then, moose meat trumps all other meat out there!

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Jim in Alaska's avatar

Moose is great but I find woodland caribou even better. Both a major part of my kids diet while they were growing up.

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The Brothers Krynn's avatar

Makes sense

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William Hunter Duncan's avatar

Thank you. Always planned on a moose hunt, but Minnesota outlawed it, as deer carry some sort of brain parasite that does not kill them but kills moose, so the population here has collapsed. We used to have caribou back in the day. Now I stick mostly to venison, pheasant and fish.

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The Brothers Krynn's avatar

Makes sense and didn’t know

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V. Dominique's avatar

You need to meet better people. ;-)

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William Hunter Duncan's avatar

:} I know some good people. But most of them still think I am strange...

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V. Dominique's avatar

I know the feeling. Been homesteading since 1983. Most of my friends think I'm strange too, although they do like my homemade goat cheese. :-)

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William Hunter Duncan's avatar

Of course they do. And most of them say to me, "I know who I am checking in with if TSHTF." To which I reply, don't bother unless you have some skills to offer.

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V. Dominique's avatar

Skills and guns. Good knives too.

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William Hunter Duncan's avatar

They are all like, I can shoot. But the ones who really can aren't looking to me as their lifeline.

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Tamsin's avatar

I was trying to surface "breaking news" yesterday and stopped in at foxnews.com, and although I did not find the news I was looking for, I did find a homepage packed with stories on offer to keep boomers comfortably in a specific geopolitical worldview.

It was like Ensure -- smooth, with so much protein and so many nutrients that you really don't need to eat anything else to remain alive in a worldview born in 1946. America is the indispendable, exceptional nation, and Trump will make it great again. Women with long, blonde hair interview men with short, gray crewcuts. Red, white, and blue stories.

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JUDGE(not)'s avatar

I enjoyed the extended soda metaphor and will be purchasing a bottle of Moxie. Your characterization of Sludge as "always needing to be consumed" was poignant.

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Anthony Bevilacqua's avatar

“Torpor” would be a good soda brand name.

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Bobby Lime's avatar

Has it ever occurred to you that if you were a foreigner with zero knowledge of English, and were to hear the word, "autopsy," you would be misled by its sound into assuming that whatever it meant, it was something quite pleasant?

Think about it. "Autopsy." It sounds like a soft, rolling meadow on a day in early Spring, with low humidity, a light breeze, and you and your true love lying on a hill and wondering aloud what the future held for the two of you.

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MLHVM's avatar

AutoPoPsy!

A new name for a soda that kills you?

Or drinks itself?

Or is a substitute for formaldehyde?

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Anthony Bevilacqua's avatar

It’s a rather peculiar leap from the etymology to the current meaning but you’re right—you’d never suspect anything ghastly.

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Gathering Goateggs's avatar

Just like if you didn’t know the specifics, “Waterboarding in Guantanamo Bay” sounds like a nice vacation.

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maxumusK's avatar

This is good and well written. Unfortunately, I thought the first paragraph or two were taking the post in an entirely different (and unwanted / not interested) direction, and almost skipped reading it. I then skimmed the rest and suspected it was deeper than I originally thought, and reread the post. Well done!

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Gilgamech's avatar

Same, starting with ad hominem attacks on a nobody was unappealing. Even though it eventually worked its way into a great metaphor.

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Sim1776's avatar

We had to wait for the chaser!

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JasonT's avatar

Sometimes you read because the material is compelling and sometimes you read because the author is compelling. The piece works, but you have to think, and sludged brains don't do that. It was a test.

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Simon Tanner's avatar

This essay, and the first one made me happy. Good writing should be a joy to read. You should laugh and wince just as much as you think. This isn’t sludge, it’s a tonic.

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Librarian of Celaeno's avatar

Thank you kindly. I wanted to produce something funny, but also challenging and thought-provoking.

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Simon Tanner's avatar

🎯

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Digital Pyrrho's avatar

When I woke up, I didn't know I wanted Ellul's discussion on Agi-prop and integration-prop described to me in an extended soda war metaphor juxtaposed with recent US political history, but by God I'm here for it.

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Dave pearen's avatar

This piece was so well written and entertaining I could've restacked the whole thing. So I guess I've entered the sludge proof part of substack. Thanks for a entertaining read!

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youlian troyanov's avatar

Brilliant 👍 Also hilariously funny, I laughed out loudly like a madman while reading 🤣

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Librarian of Celaeno's avatar

Thank you very much.

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MaKenna Grace's avatar

Oh man, I miss Moxie. We had a specialty store that sold it for years until they went out of business. Now it’s hard to find here.

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Andy Tross's avatar

I was pretty sure I knew who "cringe edgy" was going to link to and I was not disappointed to be proven right.

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MLHVM's avatar

I wonder if you can build resistant people who can see sludge for what it is if you actually have a lot to do in your life, a lot of responsibilities, a lot of complexities, a lot of interests, and a lot of friends who are in the same busy boat. Busy people don't have a lot of time for trivialities, in my experience. And when they do indulge in them, they see them for what they are.

I could be wrong, of course.

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Jim in Alaska's avatar

Sludge happens. Gargle, wipe your boots and keep on truckin'.

These days I find myself anarcho-capitalist, not so much a politic , more philosofic. Ignoring the woke & the broke, hanging with my friends, both of them, trading moose for salmon, let others worry about Mammon, getting by, sometimes in plain sight sometimes maybe on the sly.

Cyraxx et al? Wouldn't know about them 'cept for you introducing them L'C'eno. Have enough local & extended family crazies, but yours also entertain.

Mud, sludge? I think we always have a choice, how much we let in our space. More and more I can quite truthfully say, shucky darn Bubba, that done affect me none.

Sage advice, follow this and guaranteed, you can't go wrong; don't trust anyone under 85 and then only of you've known them for at least 70 years. ;-)

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The Brothers Krynn's avatar

Good stuff, sludge is almost unavoidable throughout Christendom at this point, I myself have a massive weakness for Iced-Capps. But recognizing it is a problem is key, it is part of the reason with a new job contract coming up I hope to quit cold-turkey.

Honestly, it'll save on money and probably be better for my health hahaha.

First step is recognizing a problem. In my view I think the sludge is something that is possible to avoid but you gotta learn how to combat before one quits.

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