Kill Rick Wilson, Save The Country

I’m not joking a parody here.

It’s become clear over the last few months that Rick Wilson represents a serious threat to the presidency of Donald Trump. The undisputed leader of a temporarily sidelined faction of True Republicans over and against the ascendant Drumpfenreich, Wilson has now turned all of his many wits against Trump capo Elon Musk, writing in a recent Substack essay that for the country to survive, Musk’s car company, Tesla, must die. To drive home the seriousness of his point, Wilson illustrated his headline with a picture of a flaming Cybertruck, this at a time when rampant arson and vandalism of Tesla products is becoming an epidemic. It’s clear what he meant by this, and it’s clear how we’re going to have to respond.

There’s no mincing words here. We’re going to have to kill Rick Wilson, and when I say kill, I mean to kill him

with kindness. Yes, I know this will sound controversial. But the fact is that we have nothing to gain by encouraging crime and violence of any kind, and obviously even hinting at such a thing is in extremely poor taste. Certainly Wilson did no such thing. Once you get past the paywall into the article, you’ll see that he’s calling for a peaceful and lawful boycott of Tesla, not Antifa firebombings. Yes, a cynic might say that you certainly wouldn’t get that impression from the way the piece is presented:

And some might argue that Wilson is being a touch disingenuous in seeming to promise a flaming call to violence which-past the paywall- ends up being more of a blaming call to buy less. Let’s be clear; pretending that your essay is far more radical than it actually is just to get people to subscribe is almost always reprehensible. But I think in this instance the power of the message mitigates the rhetorical rug pull.

Ostensibly, granted, this looks kind of bad. But when I dig past the superficialities, I see a man worth admiring. Wilson is trying to bring America to its senses. He represents older and more noble Republican values, like unending foreign wars, replacement immigration, and being a Democrat. There are still Bushes, Romneys, and even kind of a McCain around; that faction that holds that it can still be 2005 if we want it hard enough. But that means exorcising the daemon aurantius from the Domus Candidus, along with all his henchdevils. And that, in turn means bankrupting Musk.

It’s obvious that Wilson’s heart is in the right place. His whole public career is a testament to that. He was once one of the leaders of the Lincoln Project, which paired bright, strapping, nubile, young conservative men with older but still eager patrons who would give them a hands-on passage to a sweet Con Inc. job- if they were willing to earn it the hard way. Politics is a rough trade, after all. The point was to seed these likely lads throughout the conservative moneysphere to ensure a future for the movement, since voters weren’t inclined to provide one. But unfortunately, it wasn’t enough, and no amount of grindring would be enough to save America from the Great Orange Disaster of 2016.

Con Inc. represents the best of our Western heritage- Athens and Jerusalem.

But in the interest of building bridges from MAGA to the Free America from Greedy A**h***** movement, let me suggest that Wilson’s plan has a few flaws. For one, it’s not especially clear that even the total destruction of Tesla as a corporation would significantly inhibit Musk’s ability to fund causes he supports. Tesla equity makes up around 48% of Musk’s net worth, which is something like $330 billion. Even if Tesla were to go completely bankrupt, Musk would still have close to $200 billion with which to pay underemployed Gen-Z anons to harass federal employees whenever they occasionally come to work. If only the Lincoln Project could have gotten to Big Balls first.

“The truth is I’m gay”

-Official Motto of Conservative Inc.

So even if whole divisions of Boomerwaffen TDSS vandals and mobs of brainrotted tr00ns manage to torch every Tesla dealership in America, it’s likely their efforts would come to nothing, simply by virtue of the fact that Musk would have more than enough money left over to still do what he’s doing anyway. And it’s not at all evident that the attacks are having anything like the intimidation effect the enemies of Musk and MAGA are hoping for in any case. The feds are already arresting people and the government is mooting charging them with actual terrorism. To help boost the brand image, Donald Trump has opened a dealership right on the White House lawn. Plus, if it gets bad enough, Musk will probably start manufacturing Cybertrucks that are actually Autobots who can defend themselves with blasters.

Pictured Above: A Decepticon

And it’s because of this that I really feel we should be sympathetic to Wilson. He’s trying to do the right thing as he understands it, that thing being whatever lines worked on low-information Republican voters during the W. administration. He doesn’t really have much else, but then he never really needed much else before; time was you could get these people to vote for anything. Now it’s a harder sell to the public as a whole, who have gotten -if not wise to the game- at least sick of it. So now he’s here on Substack, ragebaiting a bunch of elderly and/or mentally unwell people who fondly remember their first vote for Reagan or their dozen or so votes for Biden by flashing a picture of a burning EV, one probably purchased rather recently by some progressive before Musk’s heel turn.

It’s a bit how I imagine old Vaudeville acts must have felt when the talkies became a thing. The old song-and-dance just doesn’t hit as hard, and the fanbase is either dying off or nuts. The better performers adapted, but the ones who took the stage for a quick payday by following a formula just can’t move on. Changing venues will only take you so far.

Tastes evolve, but ‘fat guy falling down’ is timeless comedy. By the way, if you think things ended badly for Fatty Arbuckle, don’t look up Mabel Normand…

But Wilson is not wholly without ingenuity, and when it is wedded to his strong sense of moral purpose, he can work marvels. It turns out the old dog can learn new tricks; he plays the long game. And it is in this, more than anything, where I salute him. You see, shortly before I began writing this essay, Wilson was banned from X. While the obvious reason would seem to be the post Wilson made featuring the shot of the flame-grilled Tesla turning to chemical-pollution ashes next to the word ‘attack’ in a platform run by the car company’s owner, when one digs deeper, it becomes clear that the real issue was Wilson linking to Substack, which Musk hates. Wilson, in his generous spirit, sought through what must be 6 or 7D-chess to end the social media divide by provoking Musk so thoroughly that the latter will be ego-bound to purchase Substack just to shut down Wilson’s TDS clickbait operation, thus fusing the premiere forums for networking and long-form media into one smooth MAGA-friendly operation. And all he seems to want in return is to be left alone on Bluesky with all the angry mental defectives with SSDI checks to blow on subscriptions.

If he can be so generous, so can we. I encourage everyone to attack Rick Wilson with sympathy and completely bury him in esteem. Let us show our understanding by not calling attention to what others might call flaws, but- as Lincoln himself said- appeal to the better angles of our nature, and take a different and more moderate tack. Kill Rick Wilson with kindness, and let’s hope he finds the inner strength not to grift for attention and money on the internet, but rather to look within and love the man he is.

Buy your Tesler today- Everything’s computer!!!